Community Isn't Automatic, It's Something You Fight For

For years, during our start of year conversation with new parents on Registration Day we showed THIS clip of Jimmy Falon and Kevin Hart riding a roller coaster. Our goal in showing the clip was to remind parents not to ride the roller coaster of adolescence with their children, but instead, to be the steady presence that listens, advises, and redirects the emotional ups and downs of life as a teenager. 

At times, being an adult in a living and learning community like Proctor challenges us to check whether or not we have inadvertently stepped onto the rollercoaster of inevitable ups and downs of living alongside our students and colleagues in community. Working at a boarding school requires us to have a constant awareness that a community like Proctor is not automatic, but rather takes intentional effort, focus, and commitment. 

Inspiration for blog posts like this, posts that do not focus on a specific program or event, but share insights into our existence as an organization, often come from unlikely sources. For me, one of those sources is Gaping Void and their unique ability to elevate issues of culture and community building for organizations. In THIS recent post, they explore Brooklyn’s Park Slope Co-op, one of the oldest food co-ops in the country, and the unique community it has created. One line stands out from the post as we think about the community and culture we have created at Proctor, “Their members care enough to fight, which is more than a lot of businesses can say. It may be a pain in the neck at the best of times, but they wouldn’t do it without a deep sense of belonging and the feeling that it matters.” 

As we consider what makes Proctor the place it is, a place where families feel a fundamentally different energy and vibe than most schools, our faculty’s willingness to pour themselves full into their work sits at the core of our culture. When we care so much about our work, we inevitably run into situations where we argue, fight, and get frustrated with each other as colleagues. Rather than avoid conflict, we actively work, as adults, to embrace it, to have courageous conversations, and to push to better understand each other, our positions, and our deep, deep investment in making Proctor the best place it can be. As Gaping Void says, “Community isn’t automatic; it’s something you fight like hell to achieve.” 

Community is not automatic. What a refreshing lens through which to look at our collective work at a boarding school - as faculty, as staff, as parents, as students. We are, imperfectly, in this together. It is in the messiness that the beauty of community emerges. 

Read more about the Proctor Community on The Buzz!